|"Brett Venom MD/Transcript"|
| Season 1, episode 1|
|Airdate:||May 25, 2013|
|Story:||Neil Graf, Blake Lemons, Chris Viscardi|
| Written &|
|Neil Graf, Blake Lemons, Chris Viscardi|
|This transcript is incomplete|
(the episode started at Sanjay's house when Darlene is regaling Sanjay with all the disgusting details of what she saw at the hospital)
Darlene: And that's why I will never eat pudding again.
Sanjay: Ha! Ha! Mom, your work stories are sick.
Darlene: There's nothing funny about medical emergencies, Sanjay...except when a guy came in with an ingrown unibrow!
Sanjay: (milk comes out from his nose) No...way! What are they look like?
Vijay: Don't answer that. Your stories in the hospital make me sick to my stomach. I want to enjoy my breakfast without them gently.
(Vijay pours the cereal to the bowl; Craig shows up and try to eat the cereal)
Sanjay: (winks to Craig) Ahh...bad, Craig, bad.
Darlene: (takes one piece of Vijay's noodles and whispers to Sanjay) Anyway, the unibrow is so infected the doctor had to slowly pull it out.
Vijay: (sickly) I'll be in the toilet.
(Craig takes Vijay's noodles and eats it)
Sanjay: I can't wait to get an infected unibrow.
Darlene: Maybe I'll find you an even grosser story at work today. Oh, gotta go -- we're performing the world's first Maximus Gluteus butt transplant.
Sanjay: Maximus Gluteus?
Darlene: It's doctor-speak for butt! It's the world's first butt transplant.
(Sanjay and Craig open their mouths real wide until Craig swallows the bowl)