| "Brett Venom MD/Transcript" | |
Season 1, episode 1 | |
| Production code: | 101 |
|---|---|
| Airdate: | May 25, 2013 |
| Credits | |
| Director: | Tom Yasumi |
| Story: | Neil Graf, Blake Lemons, Chris Viscardi |
| Written & storyboarded by: |
Neil Graf, Blake Lemons, Chris Viscardi |
| Transcripts | |
| Previous "N/A" |
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This article is a transcript of the Sanjay and Craig episode, "Brett Venom MD" from season 1, which aired on May 25, 2013.
| Characters Sanjay Patel Darlene Patel Vijay Patel PMA Guy Mr. Noodman |
Locations Unavailable |
| Music None |
| This transcript is incomplete |
Transcript
(the episode started at Sanjay's house when Darlene is regaling Sanjay with all the disgusting details of what she saw at the hospital)
Darlene: And that's why I will never eat pudding again.
Sanjay: Ha! Ha! Mom, your work stories are sick.
Darlene: There's nothing funny about medical emergencies, Sanjay... except when a guy came in with an ingrown unibrow!
Sanjay: (spits out his milk, with some coming out of his nose) No way! What did it look like?
Vijay: Don't answer that. Your stories in the hospital make me sick to my stomach. I want to enjoy my breakfast without upchucking.
(Vijay pours the cereal to the bowl; Craig shows up and try to eat the cereal)
Vijay: Wait! Sanjay.
Sanjay: (winks to Craig) Ahh... bad, Craig, bad. (Craig rolls his eyes and slithers away)
Darlene: (takes one piece of Vijay's noodles and whispers to Sanjay) Anyway, the unibrow was so infected, the doctor had to slowly pull it out. (demonstrates the procedure with the noodle)
Vijay: (holds in his puke) I'll be in the toilet.
(Craig takes Vijay's noodles and eats them)
Sanjay: (takes the noodle) I can't wait to get an infected unibrow.
Darlene: Maybe I'll find you an even grosser story at work today. Oh, gotta go. We're performing the world's first gluteus maximus butt transplant.
Sanjay: Gluteus maximus?
Darlene: It's doctor-speak for butt! It's the world's first butt transplant.
(Sanjay and Craig open their mouths real wide with excitement until Craig swallows the bowl. Outside, Vijay and Darlene are leaving for work)
Vijay: I don't know why you do that to the boy.
(Sanjay is on the table laughing, as seen through the window)
Darlene: That's why, duh.
(Cut to inside the house, Sanjay stops laughing and Craig comes onto the table with the bowl still in his throat)
Sanjay: Craig, butt transplant? We have to see that!
(The bowl comes flying out of Craig's mouth)
Craig: Ain't nothing gonna stop me from seeing one dude's butt get attached to another dude's butt. Nothing! Incognito mode?
Sanjay: Engage!
(Sanjay gets on top of Craig, who starts slithering around in circles, and they both start making weird noises. Craig straightens himself out and Sanjay slides down. Cut to the hospital, Darlene walks by the door with a clipboard in her hands. Zoom in to the trash can outside, a fart is heard in the trash can and Sanjay and Craig come out)
Sanjay: Gross, man! Was that you?
Craig: Okay, your mom's gone. Let's move in!
(Cut to the waiting room, Sanjay comes in hissing like a snake. He walks over to the nurse)
Sanjay: Nurssssse, you gotta help me! I was bit by a radioactive sssssnake! Look, I'm growing a tail.
(The nurse looks at him skeptically, then hands him some papers)
Nurse: Fill out these forms and take a seat in the waiting room.